


the palm of a tiny hand

by squishychan



Series: a/b/o musings [4]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alpha Jeon Wonwoo, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Character Death, Death in Childbirth, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mates, Omega Verse, Omega Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 22:32:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14223216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squishychan/pseuds/squishychan
Summary: he hears the wails of the newbornthe world fading in and outhe's so tiredhe just wants to sleep





	the palm of a tiny hand

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by clannad lol; and the prompt “Don’t cry, please… You’ll be okay without me.” 
> 
> i'm sorry it's so fukin angsty 
> 
> i love junnie i swear ;-;

The world is painted in monochromatic blacks and whites, the only noise being heard over the steady hum of the heater is Jun's soft whimpers of pain, as wave after wave crashes down upon him, contractions pulling closer together. Like methodical stitches sewing up a quilt. The clock ticking by tediously, dragging on, scraping the floor. An infinite time loop one could say.

 

Wonwoo feels helpless, only being able to hold Jun's hand, letting him grip tightly as the pain grew more and more intense. He wipes the older's forehead with a cool rag, guided by Soonyoung, who's following the barking orders of Jihoon. 

 

Jun flinches at the change of temperature, Wonwoo removing the cloth immediately. Jun whines, Jihoon whipping his head up from his phone. Soonyoung looking towards the youngest.

 

"D-Don't, f-feels good Wonu," Jun whispers breathlessly, face scrunching as his uterine muscles tighten, fingers turning the skin of Wonwoo's hand white from sheer pressure. Wonwoo nods dumbly, handing the rag to Soonyoung, who dips it in the basin before wringing it out. He places it Jun's clammy brow, the oldest sighing at the coolness.

 

It goes quiet for a while, Jihoon scrolling through numerous articles, regurgitating bits of information he's picked up, instructing Soonyoung to do this and that. Checking how far along Jun's dilated, the position of the pup, making sure the pregnant omega's fever doesn't continue to rise. The basics really.

 

The first time Soonyoung checked Jun's progress, the older had clamped his thighs shut, refusing to open them, face burning pink with embarrassment. Wonwoo gently coaxing the older, promising this and that, blatantly ignoring Jihoon's snorting. Tears rolled down Jun's cheeks as he slowly spread his legs, Wonwoo peppering the omega's face with kisses, while Soonyoung murmured apologies. Jihoon jotting down the number of two centimeters, which at the time, seemed like a far cry from the required ten.

 

✧

Jun was always a sickly child, often bedridden, unable to interact with the outside world. Too fragile, his father having once described him to be similar to a porcelain doll, beautiful to look at, but not meant to be played with. Face chipping, arms cracking, legs breaking off. But he didn't care, coming home with a color wheel of bruises, scrapes and scratches littering his skinny legs, a gap where his front tooth used to be.

 

As he grew older, it only worsened, the doctor's predictions of him simply growing out of it proving false. Presenting as an omega doing no favor either. Passing out from the pain of his heats, sometimes even being hospitalized for the duration of them. Growing restless as he was cooped up in his room, wandering the halls, one hand steadying his IV pole, not caring that he was only clad in a hospital gown.

 

Jun didn't mind though, always looking on the bright side, that is until he and Wonwoo began to talk of having pups. Their doctor informing the couple that with Jun's feeble body, it'd be best to not, all outcomes grim.

 

He was understandably crushed, and seeing Wonwoo's stricken expression only made it hurt more. But he was never one to obey the rules, and the couple soon found themselves expecting a baby girl, who was to be born sometime in late December.

 

✧

 

The hours stretch on, Jun's body weakening as each minute ticks by. Soonyoung and Wonwoo on either side of him, Jihoon sitting at his feet. Bubbles rising under his stretched skin, the pup kicking weakly every so often. His belly having long since dropped, one hand cupping it in support. And then it suddenly feels like he's being crushed, like someone's pressing down on his stomach. He screams, a loud, throaty wail. Slender fingers twisting the sweat slicked sheets into bunches, eyes screwed shut. His chest rising up and down, gulping in deep mouthfuls of oxygen. Face turning cherry red as he bears down, blood pounding in his ears.

 

He can make out Jihoon yelling, Soonyoung rambling something about controlling his breathing, and Wonwoo's angry voice cussing out someone. But above all, the pain. It feeling like his body has been set ablaze, organs bursting, bones breaking with a sickly crack, stomach splitting open.

 

And then it gives away to sheer nothingness, a vast, empty field flashing in the distance. Time seeming to stop all together now, everything in slow motion. 

 

He sees Jihoon lift a small, flushed body up, little limbs flailing, wisps of wet hair stuck to her tiny head. Squirming as Jihoon wiped her clean, suctioning her mouth and nose, before laying her on Jun's chest. Soonyoung covering her chubby body with a fluffy blanket, Wonwoo tugging a tiny cap on her head, Jun noting it was the gift from Wonwoo's mother.

 

Jun's breathing is broken and ragged, hands shaking as he brushes a digit across the pup's round cheek, her wailing ceasing, eyes opening only a slit, a confused, blurry appraisal of the world. He looked at her and she looked at him and he saw his own dark eyes in her little pink face.

 

And it hurts, it really does, because this will be the only instance of his daughter remembering her papa. One that she'll lose within a few seconds, as babies don't hold on to such memories. He wants to look away but he just can't, captivated by this living wonder, a mixture of him and Wonwoo, perfect in every way possible.

 

"Xue," He softly mumbles, voice thick with exhaustion, fighting to stay alive long enough to name her, "H-Her name is Jeon Xue." The babe blinking blearily back at him, as if approving of her name. Wonwoo kissing them both on the forehead, Jihoon and Soonyoung watching the new family with a smile. One that Jun knows will soon vanish, along with his life, dwindling down to a stump of a tree.

 

"Wonwoo, you _have_ to promise me, p-please, promise me. _Keep her safe_ , you must. P-Promise me…”

 

Jun keeps whispering it, unable to stop, the world going dark around him. He can hear Wonwoo crying his name and begging Jihoon and Soonyoung to help, but they are weeping too. Wonwoo is gripping his hand, but he can barely feel it anymore. He was so tired, and his heart ached, really everything did.

 

Gradually, the pain lessened. It was so good to not be in pain. Dimly he heard his name cried over and over again like a prayer. He was pulling away from it, sinking deeper into the comforting depths of sleep.

 

✧

 

_"Don't cry please, you'll be okay without me."_

 

Wonwoo bolts upright, having broken out into a cold sweat. He'd heard Jun's sweet voice, felt him kiss him on the lips once last time, saw him surrounded by a field of blood red sarcodes, standing out vividly against the snowy backdrop.

 

But it was only a dream, as he finds himself back in his dark apartment, the sobs of Xue sounding from the nursery.

 

_The nursery that Jun so lovingly decorated, the tiny characters from tales of Chinese folklore dancing across the walls. Kitty plushies (Jun's favorite) tucked in their pup's crib._

 

He trudges out of bed, walking to the cozy room, picking up baby Xue, staring deep into those dark eyes.  _Her papa's eyes._

 

_"I'm sorry Junnie, I won't ever be okay again."_

**Author's Note:**

> i listened to "chiisana tenohira" while writing this and it's so beautiful <3
> 
> it's also where i got the title of this drabble


End file.
